HEW's Heavens On Fire 2009 show, Saturday July 4th 2009

Stew's Review

Superb little show this evening at HEW. Attendance slightly down on last time, but those who missed it really missed out.

1. Alex Young defeated Jo FX in the opener. Good, standard opener. Alex did very well with his underdog comebacks, and Jo made a fine preening heel. Physically, Jo has everything going for him - it's just a matter of finding his niche. I noted with interest that he worked this match with ankle supports and no boots, his TapouT shorts, and at one point was utilising a Muy Thai Clinch. Maybe he needs to adapt his style a little more and incorporate some more MMA style offence into his game. Just an idea.

2. Zak Zodiak defeated Judas by countout. This was a fantastic display. Judas has never *ever* looked better than he did in this match. He looked every part the monster that he's been playing all these months. No hesitation, just destruction. He beat the absolute hell out of Zodiak for 90% of the match like he was Big Van Vader and Zodiak was every early 90s jobber on TBS. Zodiak eventually won in ingenious fashion. Having knocked Judas to the outside, Zodiak dropkicked him through the ropes, which sent the monster tumbling out through the fire escape. Zodiak then closed the fire escape leaving Judas battering on the door, unable to get inside. By the time he'd gone to the main door and made his way back to the ring, the referee had counted ten. If it's always as good as this, I'd be happy to see these two fight on every remaining HEW show this year.

3. Britani Knight fought Sweet Saraya to a no contest. This was simultaneously the most stupid and yet most entertaining fifteen minutes I've seen in a wrestling ring in 2009. Britani was seconded by Brett "The Kraft" Meadows and Sam Knee, as you'd expect - and they spent little time getting involved in the match. This necessitated Saraya selecting a particularly vocal elderly lady from the second row to come and stand ringside to stop any further interference. Moments later, the lady in question was literally chasing Sam and Brett around the ring, as the music from "Benny Hill" played in my head. Even when Knee and Meadows would split up, the lady still kept up the chase on one of them. Meadows quickly referred to her as "Supergran". Everybody in the building was creasing up with laughter, including the participants in the match. Just when things looked like they were calming down, Saraya gee'd up the Supergran again and she rared off at them again. She threw (and landed) several potato shots on Meadows, who was increasingly bemused by the whole experience. Meanwhile, in the match (there's a match??), Saraya and Britani ended up getting thrown out when neither girl would listen to the referee, leading to the announcement of a No Holds Barred match at the HEW "Towerlands Inferno" show next month. Post match, Saraya gave referee Dave Finch such a verbal raping that I'm sure he shrivelled to the size of a peanut. I've never seen anything like this match - you know the stories about grannies hitting wrestlers with their handbags back in the day? Well, this was 2009... and she was bare knuckled... Good lord. I had *such* a great time during this match. I've no idea how it'll come across on DVD, but if it's anywhere near as chaotic on disc, this match is worth getting.

4. Ashe pinned Phil Bedwell in their "career vs respect" match. This was "come as you are" no rules stuff, and it was pretty great. Brawling, chair/cookie sheet shots and ringpost figure fours all came into play early, and it eventually broke down into a war of attrition, with both men kicking out of finishers galore - spears, brainbusters, backstabbers etc. Ashe even hit his cradle DDT for a 2.999. Match concluded with Ashe hitting a second cradle DDT on a chair for the uncontested three count. As per stips, Bedwell had to get on his knees and admit that Ashe was always the better member of the New Breed... so he took the mic... and flat out refused. What a bastard. I've no idea what that means for the feud as this was meant to be the blow-off, but if they do a rematch, I saw enough here to be convinced that they can have an even better match.

5. Brett "The Kraft" Meadows beat Bjorn "GBH" Sem to retain the HEW Title. Pre match stips had been agreed that if Sem lost, he was gone for good from HEW... and if Sem won, Knee would pay him double his wage and refund the money of all the customers at the show. Knee and Britani were ringside throughout and interfered liberally (after a big stall-job at the start). For the end, Sem got cracked in the head by Sam Knee with a guitar (which didn't stop him) and then had powder thrown in his eyes by Meadows which, (when combined with an Essex Bomb,) *did* finish him. Decent standard HEW/Devil's Playboys main event match.

So yeah, suffice to say I really enjoyed this show, which had comedy (the unexpected circus surrounding the women's match) and brutality (Ashe vs Bedwell, Judas) in spades. In fact, so happy was I at having witnessed such a fun show, it wasn't until I got home when I realised that we didn't get the Steve Quintain vs Mikey Whiplash match that had been promised - and that was one that I was strongly looking forward to before the show. No idea what happened there, but this show was great. Simply great.

Acknowledgment and thanks to Stew.